


(I Will Find You) Beyond Any Star

by AngrySapphicHeda



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Ableist Language, Adoption, Also some bullying, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Family Fluff, Foster Parents!Clexa, Homophobic Language, Kinda, Other, Past Child Abuse, Raven-centric, SO MUCH FAMILY FLUFF, Tiny!Raven deserves the world, at least in later chapters, child!Anya, child!Raven, child!ontari, cool mom Clarke, protective mom lexa, some adorable tiny!Raven/Tiny!Anya crush later on, with a lot of cute clexa in the mix
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-08-15 10:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8053570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngrySapphicHeda/pseuds/AngrySapphicHeda
Summary: "She heard a soft chuckle from her side and looked up to see Clarke staring at her with a fond look. She blushed and looked away. She had never been given a fond look. Never. Maybe Finn had given her something similar from time to time but she was sure it was more a look of pride then one of fondness. She wondered if this is what normal children with normal parents felt like when their parents looked at them. Raven was too young when her momma left her for her to remember if she had ever looked at her like that. But she quickly decided that she liked to be looked at like that. Like she meant something to someone."AU where Raven is a foster child and Clarke and Lexa are the parents she needs and deserves.





	1. Chapter 1

_**Mid-July, 2016** _

Raven looked out of the car’s window at the passing houses. They were much bigger than the ones she saw when she lived with Nia in Azgeda, the bad part of town. The thought made her immediately grab a handful of her big green shirt and squeeze the fabric in her hand. She didn’t like to think about Nia, or about her cold small house or her cold mean hands that would hit her when she didn’t do something right or when her bad leg would slow her down in the mornings. Raven took a deep breath and tried to calm her now fast breathing. Ms. Becca had promised her that this family would not be like Nia. But Raven was used to false promises, just like when her momma had promised her she would come back to the hospital after her leg surgery but didn’t. Like when, last year, she saw Finn, one of the big boys that lived at the group home, pack his bag and sneak out the window and into his friend Jasper’s car, promising he would come back to get her out of there but she had waited and waited and he never returned. No, Raven no longer believed in any promises that anyone made her.

When the car stopped Raven kept her gaze on her old and worn sneakers until Ms. Becca opened the door for her. When she looked up the first thing she noticed was the house. It looked nothing like Nia’s small, old one, with the ugly green paint almost all peeled off of its walls. No, this house was big, neatly painted with a soft yellow, with big white windows and greenish blue blinds. All around it was a white fence and grass. And not dead and sad grass no. Fluffy, green grass.  
“Ready to meet your new foster parents Raven? “ Ms. Becca's voice brought her back to reality and Raven nodded - because really, what choice did she have? She grabbed her small backpack and, with Ms. Becca’s help, climbed out of the car. Suddenly the front door opened and Raven’s heart skipped a beat at the sound. She hadn’t had time to get ready yet. She was going to take a deep breath and make sure her voice wasn’t shaking. She was going to make her brave face and show them that no matter who they were they couldn’t get to her (Finn at taught her that, even when they both knew it never worked with him because he would still come back to the group home with bruised legs and arms). She heard a woman talk to Ms. Becca and then felt a little tug in her hand. “Raven this is Clarke. Can you say hi to her?”

Raven took a deep breath and, has loud and as steady as she could master, let out a small “Hi Clarke.”

She saw a shadow kneel in front of her, blocking the sun from hitting the top of her head.

“Hello Raven.”

When she looked up, Raven's breath was caught in her throat. The woman looked so much like Nia and, at the same time, nothing at all. They both had blond hair but while Nia’s was always in an unbrushed bun, Clarke’s was let down, with soft waves framing her face and her blue eyes were warm and sweet, not like Nia’s cold and tired ones. And above it all, while Nia always looked like a ruthless queen, Clarke reminded her of a princess, the kind that lived long ago and had happy endings. And Raven was sure she wasn’t meant to have a happy ending. Nia had once told her that no one would ever love her, not with her disrespectful attitude or with her useless leg. The woman, Clarke, sent her a sweet, warm smile that made the corners of her mouth turn up a bit, before she could stop them. She then heard Ms. Becca talking but Raven couldn’t look away from Clarke’s face.

“I’ll be back in about a week and a half to make sure everything is in place.” She was sure that it was directed to Clarke but Raven still nodded slightly. “Bye Raven” The warm hand dropped hers and Raven heard the door slam and the car engine starting behind her. Raven turned around just in time to see Ms. Becca waving at her and before she could wave back, the car was going down the street and gone. Raven's breathing started quickening again and she was afraid to turn around and be met with a hard face or a mean hand. She tried calming her breathing again when she felt a hand on her arm. She closed her eyes expecting to be dragged forcefully but instead she felt a hand going up and down on her arm lightly.

“Raven, sweetheart, do you want to come inside and met my wife?”

Clarke’s voice was soft and careful but Raven was still unsure about her. After all, it could be just a trick to make sure she was a good girl and not a bad, stubborn one. But Raven didn’t want to be on her bad side, not yet, so she just nodded, turning around. Clarke was still smiling at her and offered her hand for Raven to take. Hesitantly, Raven took it and they started making their way to the house. Raven was surprised over how warm and light Clarke’s touch was. And how she didn’t try and make her walk faster. No, instead, the blonde walked at Raven’s pace, making sure not to rush her and Raven thought that maybe; just maybe, there could be hope for her.  
When they reached the front door, Raven’s heart started pounding again. What if Clarke’s wife wasn’t as nice as her - or didn’t pretend to be as nice? What if she didn’t want Raven in here at all? She stared at nothing while Clarke opened the front door of the house and stepped in but Raven stood in place.

She felt like running. She wondered how far she could run before Clarke started chasing after her. Not far, especially with her bad leg.

“Come on,” Clarke said, motioning her to move inside with her hand. “Lexa is in the backyard with lemonade and cake for us.”

  
Seeing there wasn’t much she could do, Raven walked inside and grabbed Clarke’s hand, missing the soft touch of the woman’s skin. Their house was huge. Maybe not the biggest of the biggest but much bigger and welcoming than the houses she had lived in. It was full of pictures, paintings and candles. There were flowers in almost every corner, bright, happy flowers, beautifully arranged in bouquets. She stopped when she saw the big, yellow sunflowers in the corner of the living room in front of a window with the sun completely hitting them. Rave loved the sun. Or any star for that matter. She immediately regretted stopping when she felt the little tough at her hand caused by Clarke realizing that she had stopped. She prepared to hear yelling but, again, there was nothing.

“You like flowers sweetheart?”

Raven shrugged. She didn’t really have an opinion in them since she was never really around them. She doesn’t remember being in any house that actually had them. Real ones, at least.

“Well, if you would like, Lexa can take you to her flower shop one of these days. Just so you can get a feeling for it.”

Before Raven could say or do anything she saw two bright eyes coming from behind the vase where the sun flowers resided and heard a hiss directed at her, before an ugly, bald creature started launching toward her, causing her to scream and fall.

“TITUS!! You useless, stupid cat!!” She heard Clarke scream at the animal “I’m so sorry Raven. Don’t take it too personally, that mean cat only likes Lexa. He never liked me and I’m sure he still doesn’t.”

Raven looked up at her with teary eyes, and immediately saw the alarm in Clarke’s eyes but her attention was quickly shifted to the sound of footsteps approaching them.  
“Clarke? What happened? I heard screaming!”

Raven looked at the woman that she assumed was Lexa, Clarke’s wife. She was slightly taller than Clarke, with curly brown hair over one shoulder and big green eyes clouded with worry.

“It was that awful cat of yours that decided to jump of and scare us” Clarke said. She then kneeled down and helped Raven get up. Her leg hurt a bit but she didn’t want to complain, so she tried to bite back the pain. “Are you okay sweetheart?”

“Yes” Raven managed to say. She had already decided she liked Clarke but she still didn’t want to push it, afraid that they might start thinking of her as to much of a burden. She felt someone move beside her and she saw Lexa kneel down next to Clarke.

“Are you sure you’re ok? You can tell us if you’re hurt.” Even though her voice was soft, even softer than the one Clarke had used when talking to her, Raven quickly nodded her head. “Are you completely sure?” Raven nodded once more “Okay. I’m Lexa, by the way, Clarke’s wife” The woman smiled and much like Clarke’s smile, it made her want to smile back and this time, she allowed it, if only a bit.

“I’m Raven” She surprised herself when the words came out of her mouth strong and sure. She saw Lexa and Clarke looking at each other with smiles on both their faces and suddenly Raven felt her chest get lighter and it seemed like her leg no longer hurt that bad.

“Well, Raven, let’s go outside then? I made some lemonade for you” Lexa said, starting to get up.

Raven nodded and waited for Clarke to get up as well and grabbed her hand, feeling a bit braver now. Lexa walked in front of them, with her back straight and walking with confident steps, like she was royalty; like a queen leading an army. Raven tried to do the same as her, stretching her back. She heard a soft chuckle from her side and looked up to see Clarke staring at her with a fond look. She blushed and looked away. She had never been given a fond look. Never. Maybe Finn had given her something similar from time to time but she was sure it was more a look of pride then one of fondness. She wondered if this is what normal children with normal parents felt like when their parents looked at them. Raven was too young when her momma left her for her to remember if she had ever looked at her like that. But she quickly decided that she liked to be looked at like that. Like she meant something to someone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven gets more comfortable with Clexa and meets the family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. It as been what? 7 months? I'm really sorry for the huge delay on this chapter, but I started my first year of college back in September, which meant a whole lot of anxiety and self doubt and making friends and getting used to the rhythm of things and such. With that said, I wanted to thank everyone that gave kudos and comment on the last chapter. I was slightly overwhelmed with the positive feedback, since I really thought not many people would like the concept. I mean 254 kudos on such a small first chapter was so so wonderful and made me really happy! I just hope that the rest of the fic doesn't just turn to sh*t 'cause honestly, I'm so scared I won't be able live up to the first chapter. So with that out of the way, I hope you like this chapter and again, I apologize for the time it took me :) (I also want to apologize for any mistakes since I didn't have to time to edit it, so if you see any mistakes, feel free to tell me, I appreciate it)

When they arrive at the backyard Clarke helps her sit on a hammock next to a canvas and takes her backpack from her, resting it against a table with paints, lemonade and cake. Raven looked at the canvas and saw what looked like a painting of Lexa laying on the hammock reading a book with Titus on her lap, sleeping. Lexa and Clarke looked like they had a good life and were happy with each other. She wondered why would they want her to be part of it too. Nia had taken her in only because of the money but Lexa and Clarke didn’t look like they needed it. But here she was, with them. Maybe they just wanted to know what was like to have a child. And then if they decided that they liked it they would send her back to the group home and go pick up a nice, sweet, not broken child to be with them. Maybe they would choose Harper, the nice girl from her group home. Harper was nice, smart and never talked back at adults like Raven did. With the exception of Nia’s, she had never stayed with any foster parent long. Her longest stay was a week and a half. They would call her disrespectful, a handful, a brat, an idiot, dumb, a burden. Every time they screamed at her, she would end up screaming back with tears in her eyes which were normally followed by a slap, no dinner and a trip back to the group home a few days later.

“Raven, honey?” Raven moved her eyes from the painting to Lexa. Her voice was soft and quiet, as if not to startle her. “Do you want lemonade? Or a piece of cake? We made it chocolate but if you don’t like it, it’s fine, we can go and find something else for you to eat.” Raven could sense the nerves in Lexa’s voice. She was trying to make sure she was comfortable around them and didn't feel pressure. That was new. That never happened with her.

“I like chocolate cake.” Truth be told, Raven wasn’t hungry and she wasn’t sure her little stomach could handle food right now since it still felt a bit twisted, but at least she could have something in her hands to help with her fidgeting. (She used to bite her nails when she felt nervous, but Nia made sure she beat that habit out of her).

“Great! Here you go!” Lexa’s showed her a big smile and gave her a small piece of cake that, no matter how little hunger she had in her, made her mouth water a bit, so she decided to just stuff her mouth with it. A small chuckle made her turn her head to see Clarke looking at her, smiling. She tried to smile back but a mouthful of chocolate cake decided against it, and as she opened her mouth she felt cake coming out of it through her teeth. Raven immediately closed her mouth and looked at both women. Lexa was wide eyed and with her mouth in a ‘o’ shape, while Clarke had her hand in front of her mouth and was shaking, probably from trying not to laugh. The sight made Raven close her eyes and explode in a fit of giggles. The shook in Lexa’s face and Clarke trying not to laugh was to funny for her to pretend she didn’t find it hilarious. She heard Clarke’s laugh of joy join hers and Lexa’s soft one soon followed. This felt good. This feels how a 6 years old should feel. She had always wondered what it was like to have someone laugh that way when she saw the other kids from her kindergarten class being picked up by their parents and see them laugh what whatever they were saying. Now she knew.

“I should go and grab some napkins for you to clean up” Lexa was the first one to catch her breath and after a small brush on Raven’s hair, she moved inside. Raven was only capable on nodding since she was still catching her breath, as well as Clarke. After everything and everyone was cleaned, both women gave Raven a tour of the house. It was big, as big on the inside as it was on the outside. It was very bright, with a lot flowers and paintings on the walls.

“I’m the one that paints them, it’s my job.” Clarke had said smiling when Raven kept tugging at her hand and asking her about them. “Do you like drawing Raven?” The question came from Lexa. She shrugs her shoulders. She likes to scribble on a paper but she never had nothing happy to draw about, so she just didn’t. They never pushed her with questions. They seemed to be only asking innocent questions, getting to know her slowly and at Raven’s rhythm and not forcing her to answer anything she didn’t want to. The living room has the highest ceiling she had ever seen. The walls were covered by more windows than she knew how to count to and a big and long bookcase, filled with nothing but books. The covers were pretty and heavy. She wondered what they were about. She couldn’t read any of the book’ titles yet, but she knew individual words. There were a lot of them with the words _space_ and _stars_  on them. She liked space, which made her wonder if she would be there long enough to be able to read them after learning. Or maybe just long enough to have Lexa and Clarke read them to her. They went up the stairs to show her their room and Clarke’s colorful art room, or studio as Clarke had called it. Both women always followed her pace, never rushing her around. The last room she was shown was her own. The room was in the front of the house, with the warm summer sun heating the room through the big windows. It was big. Really big. It had a twin bed with a soft rainbow color on it's covers and _so many_ stuffed animals on top of it. And Titus, she realized as she approached them, which looked at her disinterested and went back to sleep. She never had a stuffed toy, except for a small black bird Finn had gave her after he won it at the county fair and decided to give to her, but it had ended up in the trash like most of the things she had bought to Nia’s house. She looked around some more. There was a bathroom and a closet in the room. A small and bright bookshelf next to a bean bag shaped like a shark's mouth that made her smile and throw herself to sit in it.

“Do you like it Raven?” She turned around to look at the blonde woman. Both her and Lexa were at the doorway holding hands and looking lovingly at her. She looked away from them. As much as she liked the feeling those looks gave her, she still felt uncomfortable holding the women stares for too long.

“Yes. It’s big. Really big! Is it only for me?”

“Well, yes, unless you count Titus as a roommate.” Clarke said gesturing to the bald cat on the bed, who looked at her offended and quickly exited the room, holding his head high.

“We didn’t decorate it too much because, we thought that, maybe, if you want to, we could decorate in a way you like it. We still need to buy a desk since you’re starting first grade this year, and some new clothes too” Lexa’s word make her little head spin. She sounded really sure of what she was saying. As if they were expecting to still have her here by the start of school year. That was two months from now. They wanted her to stay here for that long, and possibly even longer. Her heart got tighter when the words crossed her mind. Suddenly her eyes felt heavy and she felt sleep make her way through her tiny body. Her leg hurt and her head was spinning with different emotions and thoughts. Sleep always made her feel better. When she sleep she didn’t think, and she would like that very much right now.

“Okay.” She didn’t knew what else to answer. She wanted to be alone to process everything that was said and happened this evening. “Can I be alone?” It was a really quiet whisper and Raven wasn't sure they heard her but she didn’t want to repeat herself. She stared at her nails intensely, avoiding their eyes.

“Oh, yes, of course” The excitement present in Lexa’s voice dropped and Raven felt bad for shutting herself down on them, especially since they had been nice so far “If you need anything, me and Clarke are in the kitchen, right across the hall ok?” She felt Lexa kneel down in front of her “Anything at all.” Raven looked up at Lexa, who was giving her a little smile, which Raven was sure it was supposed to be reassuring but looked a bit sad to her.

“Okay” She repeated. She didn’t know what else to say. She was more used to screamed demands than soft questions. She looked over at Clarke, who was now sitting on the bed holding one of the stuffed toys. The woman gave her a little smile, not sad like Lexa’s, but an understanding one. None of them moved from their spots, not until Raven asked for help to get up, which both women quickly obliged.

“We’re going to get dinner started, and we’ll come call you when it’s done. Feel free to walk around the house sweetheart, you don’t need to be stuck here in your room if you don’t want to” Clarke said and gave her the stuffed toy she was still holding. It was a penguin. She liked penguins, they walked funny, like her. Before Clarke exited the room after Lexa she turned, smiling at her again “We’re really glad you’re here Raven.” Her head looked up very quickly at those words. That was certainly new. Today, everything seemed very, very new.

“I’m glad I’m here too” And with that Clarke smile got bigger and she exited the room. Raven looked around the room a few more times, before deciding to lay down in bed to the sounds of birds outside the window and voices talking in the distance.

**

The first week in Clarke and Lexa’s house goes by fast and, too her surprise, happily. They quickly make a routine and Raven is glad for that. At Nia’s house, she never knew what was going to happen next. Here, she knew. Waking up time was always at 8 a.m (at least for her and Lexa, Clarke would always enter the kitchen half an hour later, mumbling grumpily at her lack of sleep, giving them a sleepy ‘good morning’ and asking for her coffee). Mornings were spent doing something, would that be grocery shopping, something Raven had never done before, or helping Lexa plant vegetables in her little garden. Lunch at a set time too, as well as dinner. Afternoons were spent outside or in the living room, with the two women asking her questions here and there, always understanding when she stayed silent and didn’t answered. She would ask them questions too. Sometimes about themselves, sometimes about random things. Both women would happily answer and she quickly got to know them. Lexa was the more quiet one, with more direct answers and the one to make sure things were kept on track. Clarke was the more talkative one, always with paint in her jeans and a smart comeback in her tongue. They were sweet with each other, sharing little kisses here and there, always holding hands when they were sitting next to each other and calling each other cute names. Not like Nia and her boyfriend. Boyfriends? Raven couldn’t tell them apart honestly. One Tuesday morning, when Raven is helping Clarke pick the colors for the flowers she’s painting while Lexa reads a book in the hammock next to them the doorbell rings and Lexa gets up to go and answer. She heard Ms. Becca’s voice and her stomach drops, as well as her smile. She had forgotten she was coming, even if Clarke at reminded her last night, but she was already so close to sleep that she had forgotten until now. She didn’t want to go away. She liked it in here. There was no screaming, no beating, no twenty more kids crying. She knew both Lexa and Clarke wanted her to stay, they had asked her if she wanted to stay here. Forever. And she did. But she also knew that they didn’t have the final word in the subject. She had to wait and watch as Ms. Becca walked around the house with them, checking everything and asking question here and there, to which Lexa answered quickly and surely.

“And you guys mentioned you were considering adopting her?” Ms. Becca asked at the door, with her folder already closed. Clarke was the one to confirm it quickly while Raven stayed close to her, snuggled to her side. She had come to trust them fast. They never gave her a reason not to.

“Well, I still have to check your backgrounds and send the case to the judge but I don’t see an immediate reason to put a stop to your plans” Ms. Becca smiled, putting her reading glasses away and bending down to look at Raven “Looks like this might be it Raven”. Raven heart felt happy. But she was still cautious. Finn had taught her to be. Because it was when you trusted them the most that they broke your heart. He would know, since he broke hers when he left without a proper goodbye and a promise he didn’t keep.

 She and the older women stayed at the door waving Ms. Becca goodbye as she drove away. As the door closed, she heard a sob coming from Lexa and Raven’s eyes widened. Was she sad Raven was staying?

“I’m sorry I just… You’re staying here and I... “ Clarke was quick to give her a kiss and a watery smile. That’s when Raven noticed she had a tear rolling down her cheek. She cleaned it with her tiny hand and soon other replaced it. She looked up at them and, for the first time, initiated a hug. That night, while eating pizza, much to Lexa’s dismay, Raven learned the next step was meeting their family, and somehow that didn’t made her as nervous as she thought it would.

**

Raven sat on the couch playing with the braid Lexa had ask to do on her hair. She found out that tracing the pattern it created had a calming effect on her and it distracted her from the nervous feeling growing on her belly, something not even the cartoons that Clarke had put on the TV seemed to do. The sounds emerging from the kitchen also helped her relax. She could hear Lexa and Clarke’s voice over the sounds of food cooking on the stove, the plates being taken off the cupboards, Titus purring on the chair in the hallway and the occasional soft laugh of one of the women.  Raven likes to focus on those little sounds that made her feel at home. Or at least that what she imagines it feels like, since she doesn’t remember ever feeling at home; not when she was still with her momma, not at the foster home and definitely not at Nia’s house. But then she heard the doorbell ring and the weird feeling on her belly came back. She knew the feeling very well. It was the same feeling she felt she was first taken to the foster group. The same feeling she felt every time she heard Nia wake up and make her way to basement-turned-room where she slept. Raven was terrified of meeting Clarke and Lexa’s family. She had only been with them for a little over 2 weeks, they could still change their mind and send her back if their family didn’t like her, even if both women had reassured her the night before that they would not put her back in the foster home, no matter what happened today. She heard both Lexa and Clarke leave the kitchen and while Clarke appeared at the living room door giving Raven a reassuring smile and leaving to open the door, Lexa walked in and sat on the couch next to Raven, smiling at her while touching her braid softly.

“Are you ok little bird?” Lexa’s asked softly while still touching Raven’s hair. The motion calmed Raven’s anxious mind but didn’t make it go away completely but still she gave Lexa a shy nod. They could hear the door opening and the voices coming from it exchanging _hello's_   and _how are you's_. The older woman’s mouth opens to say something but was interrupted by the door closing and the voices getting closer to the living room.

“She’s not allergic to cinnamon is she?” Raven heard a female voice ask seeming a bit apprehensive about it. She heard Clarke reassure whoever it was and then the voices got a bit distant for a minute as they entered the kitchen and then came closer again. Lexa looked at her and smiled down at her, kissing her forehead.

“Breath in, hold it there for a second and then let the breath out” Raven did as told and felt herself relax a bit more and she managed to smile back at Lexa as the glass doors of the living room opened and Lexa got up from the couch. Clarke was the first one to walk in, giving Lexa and Raven a little smile. Behind her 3 people walked in. The first one Raven noticed was the woman. She was about Clarke’s height, with brown hair and a very excited look on her face that gave Raven some anxiety. Holding her hand was a tall man, a very very tall man, so tall that Raven had pull her head all the way back to look at his face. He had a kind smile and was softly laughing at whatever was said before. The last person resembled the woman, but he seemed almost awkward, with a closed smile on his face, that made Raven want to smirk with amusement.

“LEXA!” The woman said loudly, and almost ran to hug Lexa, who tripped a bit backwards when the woman wrapped her arms around her neck but still laughed while hugging her back.

“Hello Octavia!” As soon as they split up, the woman, Octavia, Raven made a mental note, turned to her with the anxiety-inducing excited smile still on her face. She crouched a bit while looking at her and smiled even more, something Raven was sure was impossible.

“And you must be little Raven! Oh god, you’re just adorable!” Her smile was starting to really send Raven into a panic attack, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Lexa and Clarke exchange somewhat concerned looks. Still she gathered all the courage she could and gave Octavia a little smile followed by a small ‘Hi’. Immediately after that Octavia jumped to hug her which sent Raven into total panic. Her breathing started to get faster and her belly was twisting. She wasn’t used to much touching throughout her life. Finn used to scratch her head when talking to her in a sign of affection. Nia used to either slap her or push her around when she had had too much to drink. Raven looked at Lexa with her eyes wide open, asking to be saved. Lexa quickly jumped to her side and forced Octavia to let Raven go, pushing Octavia softly away from the young girl. Raven quickly got up the couch and walked as fast as she could to hide behind Clarke’s leg.

“O. please, I told you to hold your excitement back, she’s not used to this!” Clarke’s voice is stern as she looks at Octavia, who is now with her mouth opened and is looking between Clarke and Raven with sorry written on her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I... The excitement got the best of me. Raven, I’m sorry if I scared you, I.. I didn’t mean to sweetie. I’m sorry..” Her voice was filled with concern and guilt. Raven was still trying to keep her breathing steady with her forehead against Clarke’s hip, who kept brushing her hair. She feels Lexa approach her and kneel down next to her. As Lexa’s hand started going up and down on her back, Raven’s breathing started to calm down and go back to normal. When Raven lifted her head from Clarke’s hip, the tall man was now next to Octavia looking slightly worried, while the other man was sitting on the couch looking at the woman.  She blinked her eyes a few times looking at Octavia’s face, before deciding that she was fine and could talk.

“It’s ok. But don’t that again. I don’t like it” Her voice was still not the strongest when talking out loud to strangers, but having both Lexa and Clarke by her side made her feel more comfortable. Save.

“Oh thank god, you don’t hate me already!” Octavia’s face seemed to relax and Raven felt herself relax as well “ Don’t worry Raven, I won’t.  I’m sorry, really. I… How about a handshake? Are you okay with that?” Octavia got a bit closer and got on her knees, placing her hand in front of her. Raven looked at the woman’s hand, at both Clarke and Lexa and finally at her own hand. After deciding she was okay with it she placed her tiny hand in Octavia’s much bigger one. This caused the woman to smile and this time it didn’t make Raven anxious. Or at least not that much. “My name’s Octavia, I’m Clarke’s best friend. That man over there” She looked back at the man that was still standing in the same place “Is my fiance Lincoln. And that on the couch is my brother, Bellamy” The woman’s voice was back to sounding excited and Raven looked at the two man Octavia pointed at and nodded when they both raised their hands in a greeting gesture and kept looking at her. She looked down at her hand still in Octavia’s and then back at her face.

“I’m Raven.” She said, her voice stronger now. The affirmation earned her a collective chuckle from the adults in the room. She looked up at Clarke and Lexa and saw them both with smiles on their face looking at her. Smiles that were caused by her. Directed at her. The thought made her little heart feel tight with happiness and pride. The thought of making the older women smile, made her smile as well.

“You sure are.” Octavia’s voice was filled with delight and she let go of Raven’s hand, getting up from the floor and sitting next to her brother. There was silence after that, and Raven started to feel her belly get nervous once again. She wasn’t used to so many grown people around her and the thought overwhelmed her.

“Raven, how about you help me icing the cupcakes?” Lexa’s voice interrupted her thoughts and she immediately nodded. Even if she no longer minded the presence of the 3 new adults in the room, Raven was terrified of the thought of having to stay here with them and answer the questions they had. Last time that happened was when Nia’s son, Roan, came back home from college and walked in on his mother beating her and almost pushing her down the basement stairs.  After that there were police officers asking her questions, Ms. Becca next to her talking loudly on her phone and Roan and Nia screaming at each other as they took her away. She remembers feeling very small then. She felt overwhelmed and wanted to run away. Even the wind seemed to be yelling at her. But in this case, it was the silence in the living room that was overwhelming her. She almost ran to the living room door, earning her a little chuckle from Lexa.

“Take the lasagna out of the oven while you’re there babe, my parents should be here soon. My dad texted me a while ago saying they were close. And Raven, the icing is for the cupcakes, not for your mouth” Clarke’s voice make Raven stop at her tracks and blush slightly. She might or might not have been kicked out of the kitchen that morning for depping her little finger on the cupcake batter every time the women turned to the oven to check on food cooking. She hadn't minded. Lexa had gasped dramatically, obviously exaggerated for Raven’s amusement and Clarke had come behind her, tickling her belly slightly, making her giggle. She was then kicked out of the kitchen by Lexa, playfully demanding her to go and get dressed before their family arrived followed by an amused ‘You better do as commander says’ and a little kiss on the side of her head from Clarke She liked it. It felt normal. Being in a room with both women make her feel normal, like she belonged somewhere. She had never felt like she belonged anywhere in her short 6 years of life. She heard Octavia laughing and Raven turned around, showing Clarke her tongue and getting out of the room followed by a chuckling Lexa.

“So, she’s here to stay huh?” Clarke heard Lincoln’s voice and turned around to face her friends on the couch.

“Yes. At least we hope so. The social worker, Becca something, will gives us a call within the next week or so and tells us if it’s a yes or a no on the adoption.” Clarke brushed her hand through her hair and thought about the last days with Raven in the house. The little girl had been shy at first but was quick to show her personality once she started feeling more comfortable, and her little giggles and smart ass answers had reminded her so much of her younger self. The whole house seemed brighter with Raven in it. Titus wasn’t such a grumpy cat anymore with someone to play with him. Lexa smiled more and her own heart felt fuller. Lighter. After trying to go with private adoption and never being picked by any mother’s to-be, mostly because of the nature of their ‘partnership’, as the woman from the agency had so kindly worded, they were more than happy to have Raven here with them. She just hoped everything would check out and they would be given clearance to advance to adoption. “God, I hope it’s a yes.” Clarke huffed, letting herself fall on the couch next to her best friend.

“Don’t worry about that C. Both you and Lexa have a good income and a stable life style. And more importantly, you guys have a lot of love to give to that adorable little girl. Hell, I don’t remember Lexa ever smiling that much to anyone that wasn’t you.” Octavia said rubbing her thumb on her friend's leg.

“Octavia’s right. Not only that but after O invaded her space-”

“Which I’m still terribly sorry about”

“Don’t mention it. If Raven’s fine, then I’m fine” Clarke offered her friend a little smile before turning back to Lincoln.

“Even after the whole hug thing, she still ran to you. She feels safe around you and Lexa. As someone who grew in foster care let me tell you something Clarke, that’s something hard for these kids. I’m sure any judge will see that as well.” Lincoln seemed to ease her mind. Out of everyone Lincoln was the one that could know more how Raven was feeling. Making sure Raven felt comfortable and save were her and Lexa’s main priorities, as advised by her friend. For the days the girl’s been with them both women made sure they asked Raven if she was okay, always asking permission to hug her or come to close to her if she wasn’t feeling so good. She had spent the night before tossing and turning in bed, scared Raven was feeling forced to meet their family, especially since Becca still hadn’t given them the green light in terms of adoption, even if she had shown herself to be optimistic about it. A loud sound coming from the kitchen made Clarke and the others jump from the couch followed by two sets of laughter and the door opening.

“So, hum, the cupcakes won’t have icing anymore” A chocolate covered Lexa appeared in the doorway, followed by a matching Raven behind her. Both girls had their cheeks red, probably from laughter. The sight made Clarke’s heart jump with happiness and she let a bright smile appear on her face. For the past year she barely heard Lexa’s laugh. Her wife had wanted a child so much and with every day that passed the dream seemed more and more distant. Lexa stopped bringing flowers home and Clarke’s paintings became less colorful. And then they decided to become foster parents and were given the news that Raven would be placed in their house. And quickly flowers started making their way into the house again and color seemed to be easier to add to Clarke’s pallet. Its amazes her how this little girl, with big brown eyes, and adorable smile and witty comebacks had changed their lives in such little time. Clarke go up from the couch and approached the still laughing girls, unable to stop herself from laughing along with them.

“I don’t even know if I wanna ask what happened” Clarke laughed while taking chocolate from Lexa’s cheek with her finger and eating it and chuckling afterwards at Lexa's raised eyebrow.

“It wasn’t me fault” Raven said, while licking her chocolate cover hand with very messy chocolate covered mouth.

“Well, it certainly wasn’t mine.” Lexa said taking Raven’s hand away from her mouth “Your belly is going to hurt if you keep eating every bit of chocolate you can reach, little bird. Now come on, let’s change before Clarke’s parents get here.” And with a kiss on Clarke’s cheek, Lexa left to do just that. Raven was right on her heels before turning around to face Clarke.

“It was her fault” Clarke laughed and kissed her head, pushing her gently towards the door.

“I’m sure it was” Clarke said winking at her. In return Raven gave her a mischievous smile and went on her way, content with Clarke’s validation.

“Well, and here I was thinking I would never see the day Lexa didn’t freak out over dirty clothing. I guess motherhood really does change you.” Bellamy’s voice made them all turn to him as he shrugs his shoulders. Motherhood. She liked that word. It suited Lexa. It suited her too. God, she loved that word.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes, since I don't have a beta reader yet.  
> You can visit me at canigetasipofyourgay.tumblr.com :)


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